I wrote this at the beginning of our time here but didn’t publish it right away, I wanted to think about it more.
We’ve been back in the US for almost 3 weeks and two of the most common things we hear are, “Welcome home” and “How does it feel to be home?”. I don’t always have a response ready because I’m not really sure I am home.
They say that home is where the heart is. If that’s the case, then my home is scattered across the world because pieces of my heart have been loved and left all across the globe.
Growing up in a small town in Massachusetts, I knew that I would never settle there. Something in my heart burned for adventure and seeing all the beautiful landscapes and people of the world. God breathed it into me and I never resisted. I have traveled and explored and have still never really ‘settled’, yet I feel like I have experienced home more than once.
I have lived in 7 states, travelled to 48 states and more than 10 countries. In our almost 13 years of marriage we have lived in more than 10 houses, including Big Blue and most of them have felt like home (at least while we were there). The longest I have ever lived in a house since moving from my childhood one is 3 years.
When I think of home I think of love. I think of cherished memories. I think of it as the place I am with those I love the most on this earth.I don’t think of it as a birth country or the structural building, or in some cases the place on wheels, but rather the memories and growth and fostering of relationships that happens.
For our family, we have had the joy of experiencing home in multiple states and also in another country. For some of our children, they wouldn’t even consider a place in the US to be their home. In their mind, home is where most people don’t speak English, you can fit 5 people on a motorbike, eat exotic fruits at the markets and go to a friend’s house in the village for rat curry.
We are back in the US for an extended period this year and we have loved getting back into Big Blue and settling in. We’ll be traveling the East Coast through the next few months, visiting friends and family and enjoying the places we once called home. We’ll reminisce and make new memories. We’ll love and be loved. We’ll share our hearts with those we love here, while at the same time missing our friends and family in our home overseas.
So, if you ask me what it’s like to be home, or tell me welcome home and I give you a blank stare, or stumble through a reply, my apologies. I will tell you I’m happy to be here, I’m just not sure here is home.
I don’t always know where my next home will be, but I always know that my eternal home is not here. My eternal home is with the Father, and it is there that I will finally feel what it is like to be truly home. For now, I will enjoy the journey and thank God for the opportunity to experience home in so many wonderful places with so many amazing people.