I’ve been sitting, staring at the keys wondering exactly what I can write. I think of all these great words, that sound just write, but as I begin to type, they just don’t seem to sound the same as they did in my thoughts. How am I supposed to write something I never wanted to have to write?
I can remember being 16 or 17 years old, working with my sister Stacie, and she introduced me to a guy that she liked, and he seemed nice enough. At the time, I never would have imagined that Carlito would have become my brother in law and father to my 4 beautiful nieces.
Throughout their long relationship, and eventually their marriage, I have seen them go through many seasons of struggle, and many seasons of joy. I haven’t always understood their relationship, and I haven’t always seen what they saw in each other, but one thing I have always seen is their love for each other. And sometimes, that love was what kept them going. And even when nobody else around them could see the good in their relationship, they saw it and they loved each other and made it work.
Like so many of us, probably most of us actually, Carlito struggled with some things in his life, and at times, his choices weren’t always the right choices, but Stacie always stuck by his side. Throughout everything they dealt with, she always saw the best in him. She never once doubted that in his heart he was a great guy and was someone she was proud to be married to. She always knew there was a great man inside of him and believed in him. I believe she made him a better person, and he returned that by loving her the best he could. She literally stuck with him through the thick and thin, through good times and bad, and in sickness and health. She was in love with him and he was in love with her.
If I am being perfectly honest, and I think it is ok for me to, I didn’t always see what she saw. At the beginning, I didn’t think the relationship was worth her time. But as time went on, and I started to see him for who he really was…and I mean, when I started seeing what his heart was like, and I allowed myself to begin to see what she saw in him, I saw a great person. I saw in him the man that God created him to be.
Because of him, my sister was able to know what love is. Because of him, my sister is able to be called “mommy”. Because of him, I have 4 of the most beautiful girls as my nieces. Because of him, I learned what it is like to see the good in someone, even when no one else can see it. And because of him, I had a Brother-in-law that I could call friend.
Wednesday morning at 4:30 am, Carlito gave my sister a kiss, said “I love you” and headed off for work. At that moment, neither one of them could have known it would be the last time they saw each other. Around 7:45am, when she called his phone, a paramedic answered it and told her that he had fallen and hit his head, and he was unconscious. Rushing to the hospital, she had no idea what lay ahead. He was placed into a medically induced coma, where his body was essentially frozen, in an attempt to save brain function. Family and friends gathered to pray and hold strong for this husband, father and friend.
In the days that followed, after multiple tests and procedures had been performed, his body was warmed and brought back to normal temperatures. When the sedatives had worn off and enough time had lapsed, doctors gave the news we were all hoping not to hear. This young, 38 year old husband and father, was clinically brain dead.
I got the call from my sister and my whole world stopped. I couldn’t believe that 6,000 miles away, my sisters world was just turned upside down and I wasn’t there to even give her a hug! I thought of my nieces, who are going to be told that their daddy isn’t coming home anymore. I thought of my sister, who is 34 and has to bury her husband. And I thought of all the people in the world who are getting the same exact news, and going through the same things, and my heart broke. My heart breaks for the lost and dying world that we live in. My heart breaks for the families that are left behind. My heart breaks for children who are left without a mom, or a dad or who are left as orphans.
I read a story recently about two guys who were on an airplane. The flight attendant went to the first guy, handed him a parachute and told him to wear it. She told him that the parachute would make his flight much better. He took the parachute, thanked her and put it on. He immediately noticed the weight of it and how uncomfortable it felt. He couldn’t see how this parachute was going to help make his flight better. After a short time, the other people on the plane began to mock him and make fun of him for wearing it. Soon, he couldn’t bear the others laughing at him and he gave in and took the parachute off.
Meanwhile, the flight attendant gave the second guy his parachute and told him to put it on because he was going to have to jump out of the plane at 32,000 ft. The man gladly accepted the parachute and put it on. He didn’t notice the weight of it, or feel that it was uncomfortable. He seemed oblivious to the other passengers mocking him. He had assurance that when it was time to jump, he would survive. He had knowledge that made him prepared. Perhaps if the first guy had the same thing, he too would have kept his parachute on.
That flight they were on, is the same “flight” you and I are on. The parachute they were given, is Jesus Christ. We are each on this earth for a short time, and what happens after depends on our decision to keep the parachute on (accept Jesus) or take it off (live without Jesus).
So often, we are told that becoming a Christian and accepting Jesus means that we will live this perfect, orderly life and no trouble can come our way. Whoever told you that has never read the Bible! The Bible says we will face trials and tribulations. That we will be mocked, persecuted and hated for our belief. BUT, we have been given assurance that throughout anything we may face in this life, Jesus will be there to see us through. When we hit turbulence in our life, we don’t need to fear, because we have the parachute strapped right on our back. And when the time comes for us to “jump”, we have assurance of spending eternity in Heaven.
Because, whether you think about it or not, there is a very real Heaven, and there is a very real Hell. Where you spend eternity is entirely dependent on your choice. God sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for you and I, and He also gave us 100% free will to decide whether or not we receive that gift. We can do nothing in ourselves to earn it, but He freely gives it. All we have to do is ask. And what’s even more, He forgives us every time we mess up and ask forgiveness. But what is even more amazing than all that, as if that wasn’t enough, He remembers our sins no more!!
I know that there were many times in Carlito’s life when he rejected the parachute. He allowed the influence of others to get to him and he took the pack off. But, as time went on, and he and I had more conversations and debates about things, I saw him pick up the parachute and start to put it on. More recently, I believe he did put the parachute back on and started to see in himself who God created him to be.
As our family faces this unexpected death, our prayer is that through his untimely death, new life can be found in the lives of others. If there is one thing we have learned, it is that our time here is so short. We are only on this earth for a short time in comparison to the eternal life we will have when we die.
As you go about your day today, I pray that you take the time to let your loved ones know they matter to you. Let your friends know that their friendship blesses your life. Hug and kiss your spouse and tell them how much they mean to you. Give your kids an extra tight hug and a big kiss…give it for all the moms and dads that aren’t able to be there for their kids anymore.
But most importantly, and what I believe that Carlito would say if he could, is take a moment and make the decision to put your parachute on. Don't wait until you are at the end of your life. Allow Jesus to become Lord of your life, and take the assurance of eternal life that only He can offer.
Carlito was a son, a brother, a husband, a father, and a daddy. He was loved and will be missed.